On Parents

March 17, 2015 by Ray Morgan

On Parents

When JK Simmons won his Oscar for Whiplash, he took the opportunity in his speech to thank his parents and urged everybody listening to "call your parents" if you are lucky enough to have your parents alive. I loved this: it was heartfelt and passionate.

It's obviously something I thought about yesterday, being Mother's Day, and having spent the entire weekend with my parents. For people who have lost loved ones, these Hallmark milestones are difficult; Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's (and don't even get me started on Christmas). My partner, Jo, and I hosted an Open Mic night last night and quite a few people said "Oh, you're having it on Mother's Day, you might not get a good audience."


As it turned out, the open mic night was packed. We knew it would be: not everyone is lucky enough to have their mum still alive, or living nearby, so what did it matter that we held it on Mother's Day? It's nice for people without their mums around to have something non-Mum related to do on that day. What I found lovely and poignant was that a friend of ours asked to perform a piece from her one-woman show about when she lost her mother. She had the strength to perform an extract on this on Mother's Day, which resonated around the room to a rapt audience, and it was beautiful.

Another reader shared with us a poem about when her father was ill, and you could feel the audience with her, listening, listening as she shared a painful experience of before he died. It was humbling that so many people were able to share personal memories with effectively a room of strangers, and I noticed how many of these shared experiences were about parents.

As we packed away, and the last of the audience put on their coats, I felt like we had all witnessed something really special. The power of words to comfort, to be a catharsis: it can be scary but brave, and I loved how many people wanted to be part of it. JK Simmons was right. If they're still around, call your parents. "Call 'em. Don't text or email, call them on the phone."

A cool message I think you'll agree.


My top 5 other things that happened this weekend:

1. My grandad's face when I surprise visited him on Friday
2. Listening to Beck's 'Morning Phase' while driving home in a sunset
3. Jo's Broccoli, Feta and Walnut soup 
4. A Saturday night in watching [#guiltypleasures] The Voice and Jonathon Ross's Madonna interview
5. Pastries and coffee for breakfast on Sunday