In praise of Essex birds

June 14, 2016 by Ray Morgan

In praise of Essex birds

We get a bad old time of it, don't we, being from Essex. People think it's all fake tan and blingy heels and alcopops. I've always wondered why Essex is the butt of so many jokes when you get fake tan, blingy heels and alcopops in every county in the UK. I mean, that's unconfirmed, but I've been to a fair few places in our dear country that give the TOWIE idiots a run for their money.

Growing up, I used to be embarrassed to say I was from Essex because - and this is STILL relevant today - people would always say the classic phrase "white stilettos". Now, for any of you who know me, you'll know this is HILAR. I don't own a pair of heels, and don't intend do, and if I did, they wouldn't be white stilettos. I don't know anyone who owns a pair, ironically or not. When will people get over this tired stereotype?

Now, as an adult, I'm a champion for Essex. We rock! We are down to earth, honest, fun, cultured, and we have some brilliant stuff on our doorstep. The sea! Riverside walks! Countryside views! A snappy 40min train ride into the capital city! It's extremely varied, and despite what the haters think, it's not all slot machines and binge-drinking.

I went to some of the more rural parts of Essex with my Dad recently. I got a really decent digital camera for my birthday, and I've not used it enough; my Dad is a lifelong photography buff, and I wanted him to show me the ropes. We drove to some beautiful parts of Essex, starting at Heybridge Basin. You know you're onto a winner when you see a lock, pretty boats, a fine-looking pub and a cafe owned by Tiptree Jam. YES! This was such a nice little pit stop! We had a cup of tea to the soundtrack of masts chiming in the sun. The tide was out, and a boat sat by the lock, waiting patiently for the tide, its owners drinking mugs of tea and petting the obligatory cute on-board dog. My Dad and I walked the sea wall, taking moody photos of boat carcasses, spying on Maldon in the distance and talking about things like apertures and zooms.

We walked along the water, taking endless pictures of multi-coloured canal boats and water lilies. Idyllic, and inspiring.

Next up was a short drive to Maldon. We walked through Promenade Park where children splashed in water fountains. Our stomachs were rumbling so we decided to grab some food; we both opted for a wild choice of swordfish and half a cider. My Dad said it was the best swordfish he'd ever tasted, including a chart-topping grilled swordfish of a Greek holiday. In short: it was a winner. While we sat outside, finishing up our drinks, I snapped a photo of an egret, stalking its way across the Maldon mud. It was lean, and graceful, and stopped occasionally as though posing for me. And, naturally, I made an "Egrets, I've had a few..." gag because that's just who I am.

We wandered along the riverfront, taking photos of boats. Gulls wheeled overhead, dipping and cawing in their husky way, as they do. A swan stood protectively over three absurdly fluffy cygnets who were nestled in grass. Dad and I took Maldon up on its abundant photo opportunities. We had an ice cream. We took a selfie eating said ice creams (obviously).

Lastly, we drove to Battlesbridge, home of great toot, where I feel like a low budget, non-hat-wearing Drew Pritchard. I like clattering through trugs of vintage cutlery, sizing up knackered ladders which would make totally boss shelves, and imagining what I would put on them if I had my own house/money/time etc. We had a cup of tea in a teeny cafe playing fuzzy jazz records, and my Dad gave me another photography tutorial, but this time with Earl Grey on the side.

We walked over to where there's a gorgeous water mill and took more photos of ducks and gulls, squabbling and swooping respectively (the birds, not us). We talked about how the best kind of day out starts with tea, has a pub lunch in the middle, and ends again with tea. A day bookended by tea. We had taken photos of some gorgeous wildlife and it really made me think: you can't beat Essex birds, can you?

To read all of Ray's previous blogs please cllick the link https://www.leigh-on-sea.com/tag/listing/blog/ray-morgan